The anxious lesbian is getting more anxious.

Hello, everyone! We are due for a little update:

1. I am going to speak to a psychiatrist this Friday about starting medication for anxiety for the first time in 13 years. I’ve been dealing with my anxiety alone and occassionally with CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), but, to be completely honest, I have not seen a considerable positive difference over the past 10 years, so I am biting the bullet and giving meds a try. I have no idea what they will put me on, the dosage, or how it will affect me. I will definitely keep y’all updated on this.
2. I am looking for a new job. I no longer enjoy what I am doing and I want to transition into a career in the non-profit area; I had a phone screening today, and it went pretty well. I would be happy to accept an offer if they gave me one. I am having some anxiety about telling my current employer that I am leaving… I’ll be sure to talk to my therapist about that.
3. My wife is finally done with her master’s degree!! Woohoo!
4. I am considering starting my master’s degree in non profit next fall…. to be officially determined at a later time, but it is definitely a huge possibility.
5. My wife’s twin’s girlfriend (a good friend of mine!) is thinking about applying to a master’s degree here in Atlanta!! We would 100% let her live with us!!
6. Fall/October/Halloween is here and I love it! I am also super pumped for the upcoming holiday season so I can start my baking frenzy!!

Tying the knot and cutting ties.

I got married on Sept. 17, 2022 in my backyard. On that day, I was reminded just how much support my wife and I have. We were surrounded and celebrated with at least 30 of our closest friends and family members. Unfortunately, that day was also a stark reminder of the lack of support that we had from the very few who were not present with us that morning.

So, following the wedding, I began the process of cutting one particular tie: my paternal grandmother. It’s been several years of subtle, yet obvious, disapproval, as well as one particular incident where she flat out told me that she was praying for me and that I might find the right man one day. There was no congratulatory message or even acknowledgement of my engagement 2 years ago, and now that I am married and I have a wife, I don’t wish to subject myself to that discomfort and disrespect any longer.

I’ve been distancing myself from her for a long time, but unfriending her on Facebook was probably the first real action that I took. The second would be to continue to not initiate any contact via phone and to continue to not attend any family gatherings that take place at her house. I hope she doesn’t send me a Christmas card- I don’t hate her, I just don’t want to know her anymore. I feel indifference towards her and I’m content with ending this relationship.

I’m not sure how this will develop; I hope that it doesn’t. I just want to live my life without her in it. Life is simply too short to spend time on things and with people who do not make you happy anymore.